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14 Reasons We're Slow to Forgive
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41 Fear Conquering Actions
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5 Things I Know About Each Family Member
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A Married Couple's First Year
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Abusers: Are You Being Verbally Abused?
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Abusers: Coping With Insulters
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Abusers: Responding To Other's Abuse
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Abusers: Responding to Verbal Abuse
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Adaptation: Adapting to Bumpy Roads
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Addiction: Overcome Addiction Proverbs Style
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Addiction: Signs of Addiction
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Addicton: How We Get Addicted
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Adult Children of Difficult Parents
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Affliction vs. Infliction
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Alliance Building the Wrong Way: Gossip
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Anger and Shame
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Anger is Controllable
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Anger Like an Oil Pressure Gauge
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Anger Reduction Steps
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Anger Turned Inward
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Anger: Responding to Angry People
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Ask Conflict Reducing Questions
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Assertiveness: Asking for What We Want
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Assertiveness: Assertiveness vs. Passivity vs. Aggression
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Attachments: Attachment Styles Compared
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Attachments: Dismissive Attachment Style
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Attachments: Evaluating Early Attachments
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Attachments: Fearful Attachment Style
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Attachments: How Attached Am I?
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Attachments: Preoccupied Attachment Style
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Attachments: Secure Attachment Style
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Avoid Conflict Provoking Comments
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Avoid Making Hasty Accusations
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Be Ye Vulnerable (free)
In the '80s and '90s Erik was one of the anonymous contributors to the Christianity Today humor column Eutychus. This piece appeared in Oct. 25, 1993.
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Behavior: Healthy and Unhealthy Patterns of Behavior
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Behavior: Staying on Track the Proverbs Way
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Blame: Overcome Blaming in Marriage
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Boundaries: 12 Types of Influential Relationships in Proverbs
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Boundaries: Help For Those Who Can't Say No
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Boundaries: Responding to Other's Opinion of Us
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Can a Couple Survive an Affair?
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Causes VS. Contributions to Conflict
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Challenging the Pepe le Pew Syndrome
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Change: Goal Setting Action Steps
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Change: Motivation for Personal Change
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Cheerfulness: Tips from Solomon
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Children Angry at their Parent's Divorce
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Church Declutterer Needed (free)
Short humor piece from Your Church magazine, May/June, 2000.
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Citizenship
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Climbing up the Ladder of Success
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Co Parenting Questionairre
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Communication: Ask For And Give Marital Emotional Support
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Communication: Decision Making in Marriage
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Communication: Six Communication Tasks
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Conflict and Desires
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Conflict Mediation Proverbs Style
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Conflict: Acceptance VS. Complaining in Marriage
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Conflict: Boundaries and Equality Grid
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Conflict: Evaluate Your Arguments
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Conflict: How to Have a Miserable Marriage
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Conflict: Marriage Conflict Resolution Grid
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Conflict: Overcome Anger in Marriage
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Conflict: Overcome Meanness in Marriage
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Conflict: Overcome Triangles in Marriage
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Conflict: Staying Calm in Marital Conflict
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Conflict: Thoughts to Embrace About Marital Conflict
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Conflict: What's Wrong with A Good Fight in Marriage?
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Confront Conflict Not Family Members
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Confronting An Offensive Parent
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Confronting Those Who Disappoint
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Connecting With The Hard To Connect With
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Conquering Anxiety
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Conquering Fear Quiz
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Control: Closeness VS. Control
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Control: When an Uncooperative Man Says You're a Controlling Woman
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Control: When an Uncooperative Woman Says You're a Controlling Man
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Controllers: Responding to Controllers
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Coping With Stress in a Ministry Marriage
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Counseling as Soul Care
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Creativity. Reverse Brain Storming (free)
One page. Quickie worksheet unleashing new ways to look at problems and getting unstuck. A surprisingly simple yet profound way to get unstuck. Add this to your shopping cart for free. No charge.
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Crossing Two Bridges in Biblical Counseling
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Cultivate Happiness While Single
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Decisiveness: Decision Making Grid (free)
One page. Simple pro and con worksheet for evaluating decisions. Add to your shopping cart for no extra charge. It's free.
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Decisiveness: Making Right Decisions
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Defensiveness: Overcome Defensiveness in Marriage
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Defensiveness: Overcome Self Justification in Marriage
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Defensiveness: Overcome Walled Off Hearts
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Dependent on Women?
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Depression: Understand Depression
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Difficult: Coping With Difficult People
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Difficult: Coping With Toxic People
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Difficult: Phrases To Use With Difficult People
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Difficult: When Offenders Can't Explain Why They Offend
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Discernment: Choosing Wise Friends
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Divorce: Options to Divorce
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Divorce: Predictors of Divorce
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Divorce: Stages of Divorce
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Drama: Do You Love Drama?
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Dropping Our Kierkegaard (free)
In the '80s and '90s Erik was one of the anonymous contributors to the Christianity Today humor column entitled, "Eutychus." This piece appeared in January, 1986.
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Drugs: Marijuana and the Bible
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Embarrassment: Dealing with Embarrassment
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Emotional Comfort Levels (free worksheet)
One page. Here's a tool to help couples identify for themselves and each other their hot buttons, their comfort levels, and how to navigate problem areas.
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Emotions: Choosing our Moods
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Emotions: Constructive and Destructive
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Emotions: Driving Yourself Crazy (free reprint)
Article from Focus on the Family magazine, April 2008
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Emotions: Emotional Intelligence
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Emotions: How to Control Your Emotions
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Emotions: Measuring Our Mood Swings
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Emotions: Myths About Emotional Chain Reactions
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Emotions: Our Frames Influence our Feelings
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End The Pursuing-Distancing Dance
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Engagement: Boredom, Calling, and Work
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Engagement: Boredom: The Un-merry Go Round
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Engagement: Conquering Boredom
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Expectations: Lowering Expectations
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Express: Do Not Bottle Up Your Emotions
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Express: Do Not Stuff Them
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Express: Tell The Truth About Your Feelings
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Family and the Trinity
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Family Expectaions List
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Family Interactions
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Family Spirituality Six Streams
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Family Wish List
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Famly Drama
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Fear: Some Preliminary Thoughts
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Fear: Ways Our Thoughts Go Awry
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Finding Fear's Root Causes
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Five Attitudes Regarding Conflict
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Focus: Baggage in Marriage
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Focus: Overcome "Projection" in Marriage
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Focus: Overcome "Transference" in Marriage
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Focus: Things I Value, Things I Don't
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Focus: Traits of a Healthy Marriage
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Focus: What's Your Focus in Marriage?
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Focus: Wise Marriage Proverbs Style
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Food
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Food: Manage Eating Disorders with Ancient Wisdom
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For Those Weak in Faith
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Forgive and Forget by Lewis Smedes
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Forgive Yourself
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Forgiveness Worksheet
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Forgiveness: Issues and Answers
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Forgiving Those Who Don't Admit They're Wrong
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Four Causes of Infidelity
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Freedom from Fear: Some strategies
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From Blame to Understanding
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Frustration: Understanding Frustration
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Fusion: Anxiety in Marriage
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Fusion: Differences in Marriage Not a Bad Thing
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Fusion: Differentiation in Marriage
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Fusion: Emotional Fusion in Marriage
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Fusion: Overcome Emotional Fusion
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Fusion: Self Soothing in Marriage, Staying Calm
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Goal Setting in Marriage
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Goals: Goals vs. Desires
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God
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God's Sovereignty and the Problem of Pain
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Ground Zero Adultery (free)
Free article from Focus on the Family magazine, July 2007. Add to your shopping cart at no extra charge.
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Guilt: False vs. Real
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Handling Difficult Feelings in Conflict
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Happiness: Three Routes to Happiness
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Happiness: Where Is Your Happiness On-Off Switch?
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Hate: Good Hate, Bad Hate in Proverbs
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Healing from Childhood Trauma
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Helping Others Feel Safe
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How to be an Effective Mentor (free)
Article from Leadership Journal, Spring 2000.
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How to get a 2-year-old to Bed
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How to Raise Guilty Kids! (free)
One page. Things not to do. 'Nuf said.
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Humility: Humility, Not Arrogrance
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If You Had Controlling Parents
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Improvisation and Family Conflict
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Infidelity and Deception
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Influence: How To Influence Your Husband
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Influence: How To Speak So Men Will Listen
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Influence: My Partner Won't Change
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Influence: When Your Spouse Resists Change
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Insecurity: Can a Man Love a Woman Too Much?
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Intergenerational Blending in the Bible
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Intergenerational Blending in the Church
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Interview Your Teenager
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Jealousy: Yours and Others
|
John Grisham Sanctified (free)
This humor article first appeared in the DOOR, July/August 1999.
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Joining the Generations (free)
Article from Discipleship Journal, Issue 118, 2000.
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Jury Duty
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Knowing God: The Miracle Cure for Emotional and Relational Conflicts
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Labeling: Overcome Negative Labling in Marriage
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Liars: If You Think You're Being Lied To
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Liars: Liars and Posers and Frauds, Oh My!
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Liars: Tricks Liars Use to Manipulate Their Accusers
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Liars: Two Kinds Of Lies
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Liars: When Loved One Lies
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Life Without Rules
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Living with Chronic Pain and Suffering
|
Making the Incredible Credible (free)
The gospel becomes good news to others when they see it in our daily lives. Article from The Chrisitan Leader (Mennonite Brethren), September 25, 1990.
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Managing Obsessive Fearful Thoughts
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Marriage Maintainance (free)
Erik's Article from Focus on the Family from June/July 2009.
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Measuring Forgiveness
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Measuring Parent/Teen Harmony
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My Personal Dreams and Goals List
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Needs: 52 Needs in Marriage
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Needs: Are You Married to an Imperfect Man?
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Needs: Drought time: Help From Proverbs For The Emotionally Parched Woman (free)
Wives have taught me what they do that works when their emotional needs are unfulfilled. They've also taught me what DOESN'T work. A summary list of the 41 strategies they've taught me. (See Drought Time the book for elaboration).
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Needs: Four Options for the Uncherished Wife
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Needs: Kindness in Marriage
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Needs: The Pleasing Mandate in Marriage
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Needs: Unmet Needs in Marriage
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Needs: Ways a Husband Shows Love
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Needs: Ways a Wife Shows Love
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Normalizing Emotions of the Hurt Spouse
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Normalizing Emotions of the Offending Spouse
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Overlooking Offenses
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Panic: Control and Prevent
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Parent Anger
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|
Parent Teen Negotiation Worksheet
|
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Parenting Without Boundaries
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Parents and Discipline
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Parents In-law
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Parents Who Rescue Their Teens
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Parents Win Back Your Teens Heart
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Parents: Stay Calm
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People: Addiction to a Person
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People: Breaking Unhealthy Soul Ties
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Perfectionism: St. Paul's Cure
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Proverbalism
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Proverbs Pattern for Provoked People
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Providence
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Provocateurs: Drama Kings and Queens
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|
Psychology in Proverbs
|
Purity Covenant for Dating Couples (free)
One page. Despite statistics that would suggest otherwise, there are couples who want to wait until marriage for sex. Here's a free tool to clarify and cling to those expectations.
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Reduce Defensiveness in a Conflict
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Reduce Marital Anger
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Reduce Presumption in a Conflict
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Reduce Shoulds in a Conflict
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Regaining Spousal Trust
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Regret: St. Paul's Cure
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Resiliency: Resiliency Quiz
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Respond to a Teen's Walled Off Heart
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Respond to Angry Teens
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Respond to Apathetic Teens
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Respond to Attachment Disordered Teens
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Respond to Cutting Teens
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Respond to Defiant Teens
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Respond to Drug Using Teens
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Respond to Irritating Teens
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Respond to Malicious Teens
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Respond to Resistant Teens
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Respond to Silent Teens
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Respond to Teens With Negative Attitude
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Respond to Withdrawing Teens
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Rethinking Our Trials
|
Revivial at the Box Office (free)
In the '80s and '90s Erik was one of the anonymous contributors to the Christianity Today humor column Eutychus. This humor piece appeared in December 13, 1993.
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Roles: A Husband's Job Description from God
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Roles: Gender Roles in Marriage
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Rules of Communication
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Sapiential (Wisdom) Therapy
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Self Doubt
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Separate Spousal Living Arrangements: Yes, No, Maybe?
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Separating from Unhealthy Family Control
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Sex: Changing Unwanted Same Sex Attraction (SSA)
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Sex: Controlling Compulsive Sexual Behavior
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Sex: Female Sexual Response
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Sex: Male Sexual Response
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Sex: Mismatched Sexual Desires
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Sex: Sanctification Coaching
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Sex: Sexual Difficulites in Marriage
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Sex: Sexual Intimacy, Some Things to Consider
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Sex: Sexual Relations in Marriage
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Shame: How Shame Affects Us
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Shame: The Bible on Shame
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Shame: What is it? How to overcome it?
|
Shapin' Lives at Kuzin's Camp (free article)
How to host a mini retreat for your grandchildren. Article from Focus on the Family, March 1999.
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Should We Stay Married After an Affair?
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Sibling Conflict Worksheet
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Six Conflict Reduction Tips
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Six Social Emotions
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Speaking Without a Doubt (free)
How much certainty do people need? How much can you give? Article for pastors from Leadership Journal, Winter, 1994.
|
Stepping Over the Gap (free)
How three churches are doing trans-generational ministry, article from Leadership Journal, Spring, 1999.
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Stop Obsessing About a Partner's Infidelity (free)
One page, brief list of how to stop obsessing over your partner's infidelity. Add to your shopping cart for no extra charge.
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Stuff: A Christian View
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Stuff: Overcome Hoarding
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Teaching Teens the Power of Blessing (free)
How to take the ingredients of the "blessing" (Smalley and Trent) and apply them to youth ministry. Article from Youth Ministries Magazine, March/April 1996.
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Teen Appreciation Worksheet
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Teen Parenting Pointers
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Teens and Rebellion
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Teens: Do Not Be Simple (naive, foolish)
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Temptation: Battling Temptation from Proverbs 2
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Temptation: Extra Help Battling Temptation
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Temptation: Overcome Temptation the Proverbs Way
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Temptation: Resist The Wooing of a Fool
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Temptation: Resisting The Gang of Tempters in Our Head
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Temptation: Why Do I Behave Badly?
|
Ten Conflict Management Strategies for Associate Pastors (free)
Article from Enrichment Journal, Fall 2003.
|
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|
The Anger Sequence
|
The Confronter's Bible (free)
In the '80s and '90s Erik was one of the anonymous contributors to the Christianity Today column Eutychus. This humor piece appeared in ovember 22, 1985.
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The Effect of Fear on the Body
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The Fear Sequence
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The Jurassic Church Comes of Age (free)
In the '80s and '90s Erik was one of the anonymous contributors to the Christianity Today humor column Eutychus. This piece appeared in October 4, 1993.
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Thinking About Doctrinal Unity (Free)
Three articles from The Christian Leader (Mennonite Brethren Magazine): Diversity, Anxiety or Joy?, Seeking a Way Together, Living With the Tensions. September-October, 1992.
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Thoughts Behind Indulgent Parenting
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Thoughts Influence Anger
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Three Ways to Stay Calm
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Time Crunch (free)
Article from Focus on the Family, August, 2007.
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To a Mother of a Teenage Girl (free)
One page. A mother wrote me a letter about her daughter and here's my response. Hope it'll be helpful to parents of teenage girls.
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Trauma and Anger
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Trauma Recovery
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Trust: Exercise Our Trust Muscles
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Trust: Rebuild Trust the Proverbs Way
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Turn Anger to Forgiveness
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|
Types of Hearts
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Types of Indulgent Parents
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Validation: End Reactivity, Blaming, Defensiveness
|
|
|
What Are Marriage Vows and Licenses For?
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When Loved Ones Wander
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Why Did You Cheat?
|
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Why Do Others Misbehave?
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Why It's Hard To Calm Down When Emotionally Supercharged
|
Why Not Take the Kids to Church This Sunday? (free)
Article from Bellingham newspaper called Moms, Dads, and Kids from December, 1993.
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Why Others Pull Away From Us
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Why Saying No to Teens is Hard
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Why We Return to the Familiar
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Why We're Reluctant to Evaluate our Parents
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Wickedness in Proverbs
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|
Wooing The Hard To Woo
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Work: Avoid the Workaholism Trap
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Work: If You Hate Your Job
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Working Through Offenses
|
